The Big Game (November 1992 | Volume: 43, Issue: 7)

The Big Game

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November 1992 | Volume 43, Issue 7


It is best to arrive in Washington on a weekend, when the official part of town seems empty. This way the high-minded architecture speaks for itself; the neat lawns, the fountain of Zeus and the maidens, the Capitol and its deserted steps belong to you without a congressman in sight. This place, which seems so utterly familiar from postcards and news backdrops, is very different on a quiet Saturday in mid-May, a little closer to the sleepy Southern capital David Brinkley recalled where, a few years before the Second World War. the White House still had no gates and “on summer days government employees had lounged on [its] lawns eating picnic lunches out of paper sacks.” I arrived several weeks after the city’s convulsions over its cherry blossom season but in time to see the azaleas full-blown. There were mockingbirds in the trees on my way from the station, but the carved generals on the public greens were Union to a man.

Despite the disgust with politics registered by pollsters, tourists crowd the capital, now as always. In his 1869 guidebook to the young capital, John B. Ellis warned visitors against con men who “represent themselves as members of Congress, or as belonging to one of the important branches of government.” I had no such trouble. Perhaps nobody wants to be taken for a member of Congress this year.

Washington, of course, evolved along a clear pattern of quadrants that, nevertheless, some visitors find confusing. “L’Enfant began his work not by laying out streets or by running survey lines,” the historian William T. Partridge wrote in 1930, “but by the selection of dominating sites.” Pierre L’Enfant may not be blamed for the system of street names, but he can be credited for the powerful placement of many buildings in the federal city, particularly the White House and Capitol. From its height the Capitol dome follows you around at night like a full moon.

To get acclimated, most tourists pile aboard trolley buses, which leave from the major hotels around town. But for the gossip-minded there is the Scandal Tour. In this unorthodox orientation members of the Gross National Product comedy revue lay out Washington for you by impersonating the town’s fallen stars as you pass the sites of their transgressions. “Gennifer Flowers” (not Donna Rice) interrupts an impassioned monologue on blondeness in America to point out the Georgetown residence where Gary Hart was staked out by reporters. I found this part particularly embarrassing when we slowed to wave at the town house’s current owner, who kept on stoically spading his front garden.

When the scandally clad characters don’t convince, you feel trapped in a failing high school skit, but most of the people on my bus laughed goodnaturedly through a fairly accurate review of unsavory events at the Watergate, the FBI building, the Vista Hotel (site of the Marion Barry arrest), and