First Bull Run (Fall 2011 | Volume: 61, Issue: 2)

First Bull Run

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Fall 2011 | Volume 61, Issue 2

Northern

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Sullivan Ballou Letter

Sullivan Ballou

Commissioned a major in June, Rhode Island lawyer and legislator Sullivan Ballou wrote the following letter to his wife, Sarah, a week before the First Battle of Bull Run/Manassas. During the engagement, a six-pound Confederate cannonball tore off Ballou’s right leg and killed his horse. He died several days later.

Headquarters, Camp Clark

Washington, DC, July 14, 1861

My Very Dear Wife:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days, perhaps to-morrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write a few lines, that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.

Our movement may be one of a few days dura- tion and full of pleasure—and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine, O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battle-field for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American civilization now leans upon the triumph of the govern- ment, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution, and I am willing, perfectly willing to lay down all my joys in this life to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt.

But, my dear wife, when I know, that, with my own joys, I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows,— when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it, as their only sustenance, to my dear little children, is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love