A Zip Through History (October 1974 | Volume: 25, Issue: 6)

A Zip Through History

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Authors: Gerald Carson

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October 1974 | Volume 25, Issue 6

Clara Boule of Lewiston, Montana, recently heard from her mother. This is less than startling, since her mother, Mrs. Elmer Lazure, lives at Belt, only eighty miles from Lewiston. But—the letter was postmarked November 17, 1969

Friends of Mrs. Edith Knudsen thought she was out of her mind when a group of young adults received vacation post-cards from her mailed from West Palm Beach and conveying greetings suitable for six-year-olds. The ex-planation: the addressees were six-year-olds when the cards were mailed.

In Washington, Senator Clifford P. Case of New Jersey, whose office is in the old Senate office building, reported that a letter mailed to him from the new Senate office building took three weeks to reach him. The two buildings are across the street trom each other.

A postal patron in Pittsburg, California, irate when a letter he was expecting failed to arrive, took action in the best vigilante tradition. He shot the postal clerk.

Little horror stories like those just cited are regularly put on the teletype by the great press associations and are read with a compulsive fascination by a public that apparently has a well-developed taste for self-flagellation and is convinced that they manage these matters better in England, in France, or, as one indignant reader of the New York Times wrote, in Mongolia. According to the calculus of the pessimists the operations of the Post Office Department (since 1970 an independent public corporation and renamed the United States Postal Service) are absolutely determined by Murphy’s Law. This is a rule of thumb which postulates that everything takes longer than you think and that if anything can go wrong it will.

On the happier side the postal service is popularly credited with a dazzling performance in delivering nixies. Nixies? A nixie is post-office slang of unknown origin for undeliverable mail. Nixies include letters torn by postal machinery, pouch mail scorched or charred in an air-mail crash or soaked by fire hoses. Children write nixies. So do mental patients, the semiliterate, and ingenious jokers who deliberately indite obscure addresses to put the nixie clerks on their mettle. Letters addressed to “My Teacher” have been delivered. A letter with only the superscription “Pastor Ihno Janssen,” mailed from St. Paul, Minnesota, was correctly delivered to the Lutheran minister in San Francisco. An envelope marked “Cookie, Ask Smitty” reached its destination. (The solution: a letter carrier called Smitty took the missive to a tavern owner known as Cookie.) An example beyond the call of duty occurred when a letter addressed “ S.O.B. , Washington” was promptly carried to the late Drew Pearson, the controversial newspaper columnist. Any nosegay of nixies would have to include a remarkable example of the genre in the shape of a 1963 letter addressed to the purchasing agent of Cowford, Florida, a place name that does not exist. Cowford became Jacksonville in 1822. Nevertheless the letter was delivered. More recently